April 2023 Notes from the Minister: Starting to Say Goodbye, part 1

Dear WUU Community,

I can hardly believe it’s April already! Time is racing by, and it’s poignant for me to realize I have only three months left to call myself your minister. I will miss you very much. And I continue to have great confidence and hope in your future.

As you might have seen in our weekly Spiral email, my last Sunday leading worship will be June 18. Then I’ll be off to our UUA General Assembly in Pittsburgh, PA along with our in-person congregational delegates. And then I’ll be back for just a couple of days to pack up my books and files and say a few last goodbyes.

Though John and I will be staying in Williamsburg, my relationship with you will be changing very significantly. And so, I’d like to share with you what the ethical guidelines of my profession say about departures, and how that translates into what will happen after we say goodbye. The UU Ministers Association (UUMA) has very detailed guidelines that all UUMA members are expected to follow. Here’s a link to the part about ministerial departures, if you’d like to check that out.

The very short version of what it all means is this:

After I say goodbye to you, I’ll be staying away from all things WUU for a good long while, so that your new minister has plenty of room to form their own relationship with you. I will always care about you. But after I leave, I can serve you best by keeping a loving, respectful distance from the congregation.

This may seem a little strange at first hearing. Some other religious traditions do things very differently. But I can say for sure that our practice is based on many decades of hard-won experience about what helps congregations move forward successfully and joyfully into a new clergy partnership.

So that’s why, for example:

  • I won’t be coming to any events at WUU for at least a couple of years.
  • I won’t be available to officiate at weddings, memorial services, or other rites of passage for members of the WUU community.
  • If I see you out and about, I will be happy to say hi, so please don’t feel like you have to run away or pretend not to recognize me! But, so as not to put anyone on the spot, I won’t ask you about how things are going at WUU.
  • I will be working with your new interim minister to create a covenant between us as colleagues.
  • And I will be cheering you on, always.

In my May column, I’ll share a little about where I’m headed in my ministry. I so appreciate all the support and encouragement you’ve shown me already.

And, I absolutely hope to see you in-person and/or online next month, whether it’s for worship, a meeting, or a quiet chat. Be well and blessings to you!

In faith,

Rev. Laura